It’s roasted cheese not toasted cheese!
I’m not fed up, I’m bloody scunnered.
I don’t cast opinions but I am pretty pass-remarkable.
And I wish I could still gan tae the steamie, which is not a laundry,
when ma clothes get mauchit if i get dreiched.
And definitely not dirty if i get wet!
I fear getting auld but will never be old,
And I enjoy a piece and jam but never a sandwich with ham.
So don’t calm down but do haud ya weesht,
If you dinnae hink I speak gid well a hink it’s braw.
And ya maw should’ve taught you better and read ye Burns at nicht,
Just so ye can speak like me, ken.
And it’s well shan ye just dinnae unerstaun’!