Burns Series 1 – a wee poem in the style of the Burns classic

My thoughts on how Burns would deal with a modern-day problem.

My life is like a tangled hose

That’s sprung a leak in June :

My hose was left all winter long,

Outside and now it’s doomed.

As screwed art thou, my green green pipe

A drouth my plants have and I :

I’ll need to replace you now, my hose,

Afore they all gang dry.

Till a’ the flowers gang dry, my hose,

Ma lassie is hoofin me up the bum :

But I cannae fix the leak in ma pipe,

So the tap o’ life can run.

And fare thee weel, my only hose,

And fare thee weel de noo !

As Amazon’s been with a new green pipe

To feed her flowers and save a row.

(Copyright 2019) Pedro BatPoet